Saturday 14 September 2013

Wedding Anniversary (17/5/1977)

"Oh I hate him! I hate him!oh boy do I hate him! uh uh uh  uh....(sob) uh uh ....God, what has come over him?He doesn't care for anything anymore.Last Friday, I dressed up so carefully to go to the movie... put on the saree he liked, did the eyes & hairstyle the way he liked them....used his favorite lip stick and perfume- And he just didn't turn up! ...... and yesterday! he seemed so indifferent about our anniversary
And here was I labouring for days to stitch him a sweater all by myself, and waiting eagerly for the day....And like a fool day dreaming at each stage of how happy he would be to see the beautiful sweater. And he........ and he just threw it aside on the chair.... I hate him! I hate him uh (sob) uh uh"

"I think I told you  I was not to be disturbed?"
"Sir but this is an important assignment that needs your immediate attention"
"I am not in the mood.We will dispatch it tomorrow"
".... Sir, this is important, a lot of money is involved"
"Get out! out I say.Silly fool!....... Ha, he speaks of money!I work hard,put in my blood sweat for the welfare of the family but nobody seems to appreciate it-then why should I work-take pains?
Rekha,... she has changed a lot.. I get home after a hard day's work and I am greeted by a frowning wife instead of one who ought to make me comfortable.
And... what does she think? a man cannot be a genius.He tends to forget things...and there she was flipping her lid over my going home late for our anniversary-considering the amount of work I had on that day, anyone would have forgotten anything....
...... anyway what did she buy me after all! - a stupid sweater when I would have preferred something less costlier but more romantic like those cute little ties just come into the market.she giving it as a present would have been wonderful.Oh Lord!life is losing its charm.It's almost unbearable,

"So you have come! late as usual...... oh I suppose you prefer to be silent. ......well supper is ready"
Ï am not hungry"
"Pappa, pappa, I got first rank in my class. My teacher said you would be proud of me."
"Good,good, now get to bed Raju. It's late."
"So you won't take supper?"
"Ï told you I am not hungry!"
"But pappa mummy has'nt eaten. she was waiting for you."
".......well.. you needn't have bothered.It's not as I have asked you to ........... I guess I am tired,I am going to bed"
He went in to the bedroom and settled himself on one corner of the double bed and placed Raju in the middle.They were soon joined by her at the other side of the bed.They remained like that with the torturous silence ringing in the room.Thoughts sailed through his mind.Calm prevailed in the room But the condition of his mind was far from calm." Hmn.. she wasn't exactly crying over my going to bed starved.The only person she cares for in this world is herself -Her clothes,her jewelry and her food! ....Is she at least aware that I work hard for her, the child, the family?
Last Saturday I had wanted to take her out,....Raju to the park. But she preferred to invite her noisy relatives in here and gossip........ hey, she's crying!......... should I console her?.....Now why should I? If she cries,she deserves it....it's not as if I beat her or had words with her ..... but hell,this seems serious....... May be I ought to wipe her tears.  After all....
Hell.. she deserves no pity considering the mental tortures she gave me!....,

.........Oh mine , the poor thing, may be I have been a little too harsh....after all  she is only a kid"
What he did then is anybody's guess.

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