Sunday, 22 September 2013

All Alone ( 15/9/1979 )

I stood in the open
and looked about me
I was all alone!

I craved for company
people poked in their head
I had enough to manage that
but they all moved away
It was all because of my closed nature
the habit of shutting off all of a sudden

But little did they know of my plight
I was helpless and had little choice
They were content to think me strange
to poke at the surface
and leave it at that!

Monday, 16 September 2013

The Good Old Days (3/2/1977)

Oh days, you are running in to months and years
So fast, so very fast
You ran even as I watched
so fast so very fast

I couldn't even get to caress you
to feel you, and to hold you close
for you were so naughty and vain
always on the run
with spare time for none

Now I have this little request
which even as I make looks vain
If only I could with your aid
go back and start all over again
minimising the mistakes,prolonging the  pleasures
undoing the mischief and soothing the lumps

No, no don't say no!
my heart which is aching will break if you do
Ah the sigh of helplessness envelops my brain
you haven't changed have you oh days
you always were so naughty and vain

Saturday, 14 September 2013

Light of Our Home (7/9/2013)

On this auspicious day dear…
I fondly acknowledge- fondly recollect
The many things that have made you the light of our home
Sweet & simple, not enamoured
by gold or clothes – not impressed
by the glitz & glamour
Very practical and grounded, is the light of our home!

Always devoted to the cause of children- mother first
All else afterwards….  Even today, at 4 in the morning
You are their alarm –to shop for things, you are their guide
They know that for anything & everything you will be there
Yes, Solid as a rock is the light of our home!

It is this quality that helped weather
 Difficulties of transfers – of running the family
Single handed……
Handling other challenges, taking initiatives
All for the well being of our home
By who else, but the light of our home!

A good teacher revered by students
Wonderful cook – kind hearted
 Towards People, animals & birds
Lover of fauna & flora
Is the light of our home!

Wedding Anniversary (17/5/1977)

"Oh I hate him! I hate him!oh boy do I hate him! uh uh uh  uh....(sob) uh uh ....God, what has come over him?He doesn't care for anything anymore.Last Friday, I dressed up so carefully to go to the movie... put on the saree he liked, did the eyes & hairstyle the way he liked them....used his favorite lip stick and perfume- And he just didn't turn up! ...... and yesterday! he seemed so indifferent about our anniversary
And here was I labouring for days to stitch him a sweater all by myself, and waiting eagerly for the day....And like a fool day dreaming at each stage of how happy he would be to see the beautiful sweater. And he........ and he just threw it aside on the chair.... I hate him! I hate him uh (sob) uh uh"

"I think I told you  I was not to be disturbed?"
"Sir but this is an important assignment that needs your immediate attention"
"I am not in the mood.We will dispatch it tomorrow"
".... Sir, this is important, a lot of money is involved"
"Get out! out I say.Silly fool!....... Ha, he speaks of money!I work hard,put in my blood sweat for the welfare of the family but nobody seems to appreciate it-then why should I work-take pains?
Rekha,... she has changed a lot.. I get home after a hard day's work and I am greeted by a frowning wife instead of one who ought to make me comfortable.
And... what does she think? a man cannot be a genius.He tends to forget things...and there she was flipping her lid over my going home late for our anniversary-considering the amount of work I had on that day, anyone would have forgotten anything....
...... anyway what did she buy me after all! - a stupid sweater when I would have preferred something less costlier but more romantic like those cute little ties just come into the market.she giving it as a present would have been wonderful.Oh Lord!life is losing its charm.It's almost unbearable,

"So you have come! late as usual...... oh I suppose you prefer to be silent. ......well supper is ready"
Ï am not hungry"
"Pappa, pappa, I got first rank in my class. My teacher said you would be proud of me."
"Good,good, now get to bed Raju. It's late."
"So you won't take supper?"
"Ï told you I am not hungry!"
"But pappa mummy has'nt eaten. she was waiting for you."
".......well.. you needn't have bothered.It's not as I have asked you to ........... I guess I am tired,I am going to bed"
He went in to the bedroom and settled himself on one corner of the double bed and placed Raju in the middle.They were soon joined by her at the other side of the bed.They remained like that with the torturous silence ringing in the room.Thoughts sailed through his mind.Calm prevailed in the room But the condition of his mind was far from calm." Hmn.. she wasn't exactly crying over my going to bed starved.The only person she cares for in this world is herself -Her clothes,her jewelry and her food! ....Is she at least aware that I work hard for her, the child, the family?
Last Saturday I had wanted to take her out,....Raju to the park. But she preferred to invite her noisy relatives in here and gossip........ hey, she's crying!......... should I console her?.....Now why should I? If she cries,she deserves's not as if I beat her or had words with her ..... but hell,this seems serious....... May be I ought to wipe her tears.  After all....
Hell.. she deserves no pity considering the mental tortures she gave me!....,

.........Oh mine , the poor thing, may be I have been a little too harsh....after all  she is only a kid"
What he did then is anybody's guess.

Saturday, 7 September 2013

Unacknowledged Smiles

Dear  Readers
I would like to present to you thoughts penned in lines (prose) and in verses (poetry) over the years.You will therefore find in them the nature, sensibilities of the said times and my own chronological age & maturity at that point of time. It is true that these days I write more of non fiction (   and www.corporatepoem, However I would like to resume & put on paper the spontaneous thoughts in this area.

Unacknowledged Smiles     (7-8-1980)

The little red rose smiled at me
Again and again
Not discouraged that her smile wasn't returned

She continued to smile
even as she grew
and straightened in full bloom
Though now, her smile
was a little weakened
a little sad.....

she was still smiling
her sad little smile
as she withered away
and joined the earth

Guilt pricked me
and poked at my heart
I cried for the rose
my little red rose

The rose hadn't known
that I adored her petals
that I had watched unseen her sweet little face

that I had stifled the smile
that threatened to break
every now and  then
just watching her face

How could she know
that my smiles were reviewed
and controlled by forces
outside of me!

The rule had been set
that if I were to smile
I shall smile at lilies
And lilies alone!